shit you should never do on facebook:

1. never let your girlfriend have your facebook password. I mean for one thing, she's obviously going to read all your messages and try to get mad at you for anything. but most importantly, she WILL update your status, thus making you look like you're dating a prat. GIRLS: if you have your boyfriend's password and you think this is cute- it's not. it says "Hi, I have low self-esteem and I wish my boyfriend thought of me like this." 

2. irrelevant song lyrics under your pictures. ok so I put on an entire stick of eyeliner and then took a web cam picture....how should I let people know that I have more depth than this? I can use emotional song lyrics. <-- this is not the answer. 

let's take this picture for example: "A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out <3" I'm sorry, but to me it appears that you are alone taking selfies in your backyard. if your friend walked in when everyone else walked out could they have at least held the camera for you? 

"so disfunctional" and "this describes our relationship so well"

how to use the above phrases properly


A) So disfunctional: first of all dysfunctional is spelled with a y. use this caption when you are making an album of a school dance. when you make this the caption of your photo make sure at least one person looks like absolute crap. it's really cute!!!!! especially when the two people in the photo are dating. it's like publicly admitting "hey, we're not always perfect." 
B) This describes our relationship so well: usually these are candid shots. for some reason when you find them on your camera, you think "wow this honestly describes us so well!" but when the picture looks like this:

I'm like wait so your relationship is best described as two people who often take bad pictures? or sometimes it's like you and your best friend looking fake-mad at each other, and I'm like that's a weird relationship. or boyfriend and girlfriend standing 10 feet apart looking awkward. what are you trying to say? why would you want people to know that. I have honestly never seen a picture of two people who look normal and happy with this caption. 

I love the Christian Mission and the Missionary position

Dear Anne,
I'm 17 and I love to have intercourse, but on top of that, I always update my facebook status with verses from the bible. I'm worried that people will think I am a hypocritical cunt. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Hypocritical Cunt


Dear Hypocritical Cunt,
This seems to be a common predicament for teenagers. They wonder, if perhaps I have a lot of sex while I also push Jesus down people's throats, will people find me hypocritical? The answer is a definite yes. If God is as important to you as you say, they why are you engaging in premarital sex? It's really one or the other. God vs. Sex. You choose.
Yours Truly,
Anne