FHE: a place of mediocrity, a place of christianity, a place of protocol

What is Forest Hills Eastern? 
Forest Hills Eastern is a school that prides itself on its mediocrity. Want a great education? Come to Forest Hills Eastern. You can guarantee that your teacher graduated from one of these 3 schools: CMU, Cornerstone, or Calvin. All three are very prestigious; so, regardless, you know you're being taught by the best. 
If you are not currently practicing the Christian faith, FHE will do its best to change that by your graduating year. Here at FHE we have Prayer at the Flagpole, Bible club, and choir concerts. Come praise Jesus with FHE Chorale! At the fall concert, chorale sang "Praise His Holy Name" "A City Called Heaven" and "Operator (give me Jesus on the line)". All three songs pushed me closer and closer to God. I may even be able to skip holy Sunday this weekend. 
FHE is a place of protocol. Do not draw a gun in class. You will be sent to the office and your parents will be contacted. There is also a list of protocol questions your counselor will ask you. Albeit there are students who are seriously disturbed, your gun drawing will receive top priority- it is protocol. 

the rules of spanglocuntism

the difference between spanglish and spanglocuntism is that in the latter you actually go the extra mile to sound like a complete prat
1. always speak in a loud voice (smack tongue inside mouth interminably)
2. never speak an entire sentence in spanish.
3. use the word "like" 
4. purposely mispronounce words (dietetica like dieta-tatica)
**If you follow all these steps correctly your sentence should come out to this**
Senora, like como se dice like good in spanish like para when it is para like estar?

get a cell phone

so you're fourteen. you have a boyfriend. big deal, right? so obviously you want EVERYONE to know. and I love hearing about it too. 

subliminally, publicizing your love on facebook is your way of warding off jealous sluts. you want them all to know 'I am 14, and we are in love so back the FUCK off' 

no one is trying to get with him. so, get a cell phone. 

Save some gorgeous for the rest of us! Share some gorgeous?

The stupidest phrases known to facebook: 

a) save some gorgeous for the rest of us:  it’s like who are you talking about? you’re speaking for the entire human race? who gave you permission to do that? also, there’s not like a pot of gorgeousness that one gets her looks from. so how is she supposed to leave some “for the rest of us” 

b)  share some gorgeous: **first of all, do not respond to this comment, they're just looking for a return compliment** how the hell are you even supposed to do this? if you’re ugly, you’re going to stay ugly. it is impossible to share your good looks with another person.